Blessed

I'm living a blessed life right now. Most of my worries are ones that I make for myself, not something thrust upon me. A lot of friends are having hard times, some are low on money, some have been in and out of hospitals and pain for weeks, their entire future uncertain. Some are lonely. And I sit here worrying about if I will have to work if I have a kid in a year or two. I've got gameplans, the goal is to not do the commuting 9-5 I do now, and have done. Maybe I'd miss it. Maybe not. The letting go of that income is scary. I would do other things, of course, to make money, be it website building at home, or something else. I'm a retard for getting stressed over it when we aren't even going to try for a kid for a year! I'm a nut. What's wrong with me? I have very little to worry over right now, and I should appreciate that more, instead of making my own trouble. I hope my friends in pain/financially muddy paths/lonely spaces find their ways to sunshine.

So I feel like a pompous ass when I talk about what's going well. I don't want to shove what happens to me in anyone's face. Before I had a house, folks with house problems that I read about, I read with envy. Oh, to have such luxurious issues! I didn't feel they were crowing or anything, their life has their trials and situations, different than mine but still relevant and valid, but when they got REALLY bent out of shape over their new double doors that they installed not being the right color or something on their front walkway, I did sometimes have a "bitch, please" thought go through the synapses. So tell me if I ever make you think "bitch, please!" This isn't even leading up to a problem. It's just hard to talk about things going on when I know others are in different spaces and would love to have some of these types of issues. We've all been on both sides of the fence, I guess, all sides of the fortune wheel. I had my days where I endlessly played backgammon on a homemade board with checker pieces from my childhood because DLJ and I had no money to do anything else. And we are where we are now because we made a large decision, uprooted our entire lives and moved from all our friends with hopes of making our lives better. And we did. So while I don't apologize for having my great job, excellent salary, and wonderful new home with a small core of new precious friends, and the ability to still share stories with those back in CA…I'm aware that I am blessed right now. That's really all I can say.

So, with all that crap out there, onwards!
We've got another contractor in the house this morning, measuring the downstairs bathroom. It's got brown/yellow linoleum, stained-wood towelholders, a bright tomato sauce red formica cabinet sink, and a white distressed mirror over the sink. Oh, and the shower has a drain in the wall, which comes from the wet bar. Pour the end of your Manhattan down the drain, and it's on the shower floor. *boggle* It looks like the Porky's shower scene.

DLJ is staying home a little to wait for them, he hurt his back last night so it's perhaps good he has a shorter work day today, so that he doesn't sit in a chair all day exacerbating things. The contractor is measuring the floor, and will return soon, meaning the next week or so, to rip out the old linoleum and put down new, yummy tile. We chose a very wide tile, 12" x 12" that warmly matches with the paint, bought in the Great Paint Haul back in July (where is that $200 rebate? Wonder how long those take). Before they arrive, the sink and cabinet from hell will be gone, and we will replace it with a pedestal sink. The towelholder is already gone, the distressed mirror won't be distressed for much longer. Instead of white walls, baby poo brown linoleum and tomato sauce red squares of blinding nightmare, there will be pale but warm yellow walls, golden-grey tile, and a diminutive cream colored sink. The drain in the shower, however, is staying put.

Our couch/bed should show up sometime in early November for the guestroom. The rediculous but oh so cool wall lights I bought at Dania are backordered, it would be nice to have them by Thanksgiving, but I can manage if they aren't. No one is going to sit in there anyway, until we have more than one couch in there.

That's the news, it's time to work. I hope DLJ's back feels a little better. Aren't we the cute married couple, throwing out various parts of our bodies. I could at least stand when I hurt myself. I had to help lift him off the floor last night. Oof. But he's standing and walking now, and seemed to sleep ok last night.