So it begins! I keep doing the numbers in my head and telling myself to breathe.

For now, we are fine. Just fine. Hopefully the shifts at work won't cut me loose, I have so much to do, and DLJ is job hunting. And when he's home, the house always looks better than when I try to look after it myself.

There's some debt we have been working off very agressively, and that will slow now. That's the only bummer. Initially I wanted to take his severance and vacation and all of that and just pay it all off, it will just about do it. But I've changed my mind. It all gets socked away. I know the most important thing is to pay off debt, and we still will be paying it off at about 50% of what we are now. One more large payment, and the rest gets stuffed away. Just in case. I think it's better to pay out a little slower, but still pretty quickly, and have the stash in case the work movements spell the end of my time here. I don't think so, but better to be cautious. If that happened, with what is in savings now, plus the stash from DLJ, we'd be able to go for several months, and at that point, we'd have to start dipping into the nest egg in the mutual funds, which I don't want to ever do but it's nice to know it's there, if we absolutely needed it. Those funds are lower than they were due to the shifting of part of them to the alternate investment of the house, but there's still enough to stave off disaster.

I have a plan. We can do this. I just need to relax about it and let it flow. This has freed DLJ to find a good job more in line with what he does, where he can grow. Hopefully a job like the one he left behind in CA in that regard. I really hope I can learn to not be freaked by this stuff so much. I require such a huge buffer zone to feel ok. How do I unlearn this?