gloom

If I wasn’t so crammed full of things to take with me, I’d even consider taking the makings of a charm bracelet to create while on the plane. I get lost in the zone doing things like that, time would definitely move more quickly and I’d be heavily focused on something. It’s tempting but it’s not practical to haul the wire and tools needed. For all I know they might not LIKE wire cutters on the plane anyway.
I got really bummed on the way to work, planewise. I just hate getting on them. I’m sitting there and I’d give anything to move time ahead, to be over it, done with it, instead of this looooooong stretch of stress ahead of me. I wish I could be the later me, already done with the flying. I’m starting to get those feelings now. Don’t want to be today me. Want to be me in 48 hours. Me past it all. It’s not a fun way to think, it instills urgency and a wish for time to move.
Why can’t I just enjoy traveling? Not loving it, just…being netural about it at least. I really need to learn to deal with this and get past it. I love being places I visit, but getting there and back is a dark thundercloud on bookending the adventure.
Tonight is the packing of the dispatch bag with books, the Ipod, camera, some things I am bringing our friends and also my Mom, since I will see her and Dad Sunday night. How strange to have dinner with my parents in Japan. Familiar in unfamiliar place.
More later. I should be able to update from Japan (cause I’m going to get there all safe, right?) but I’m sure I’ll write at least once more here before leaving. *sigh*

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