Today’s thoughts.

I’ve been keeping a personal log of my days since about 3 weeks before my contract ended at Xerox. Here is a section of today:
By Jan 17th, the doldrums had set in. I wasn’t sure what this life was supposed to be, and the recent house issues weren’t helping. I spent hours talking to contractors, arranging times for them to come see our damaged wall, the piles of sheetrock mold farm sitting on the musty carpet. I had both my cell phone and the cordless handset for the home phone attached to me like electronic leeches at all times, in case someone called in with a bid or a question. The silence when my husband left the house wasn’t a blissful moment of quiet contemplation before the day. It was a giant moment of hesitation, punctuated by the rattling drone of the dehumidifier fighting crime down in the family room. The feeling that I envisioned had arrived. Were the hours I spent without a dollar amount attached to them just sloth? I was getting tons of work done on the house planning; there is no way we would have been able to handle seeking out contractors with both of us working full time. It felt good getting things done during the day, and I was curious about the others I saw outside of a working world. Who were they, how were they free? Were they retired? Rich? Moms? Stay at home Dads? Self-employed?
But still, the march had begun. The last paycheck deposited. Just as it takes a few weeks for regular pay to kick in when you start a job, it takes a few weeks for the lack of funds feeding into your bank account to catch up with you. I still felt no pain, things appeared to be business as usual, but the change was right around the corner…with over $8k of home repairs heading the charge.

One thought on “Today’s thoughts.

  1. Wonderfully written – thought provoking too. Things have a way of working themselves out.

    When W is out of contract we rely on just my money (sometimes for months at a time) – we just tighten our belts. The contract mobile phones go, no more Ben & Jerry’s, no more Pizzas, no more Chinese takeaways… it’s amazing how much you can stop losing when you put your mind to it.

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