I’m a shadow of who I used to be online. This does not usually bug me. But right now I am reaching out trying to find new people, a new tribe. Not all of the old ones do I want to let go of, but I have let go of many.

The Internet won’t bring me the new ones. I need to find my new circles, but I am not sure where they are drawn. So in the empty stillness where the spaces are waiting, I realize how far I have left people that I didn’t want to leave, merely by moving away in space. But I am not sure I can even get back to them anymore. The distance does not make it meaningless…but the connections would only be blips, not eyes looking into eyes. Right now I need eyes and faces.

3 thoughts on “Shadow

  1. i’m under the impression that parenthood brings you in contact with a lot more people than you would otherwise. so i suspect that this may indeed be just a pause, and before long you will have lots of eyes & faces. :)

  2. I agree with the other commenter – this is the calm before the storm… you are going to have so many friends (through your child) that you’ll have no idea what to do next.

    In terms of online friends, Facebook.

  3. You’ll find new groups and friends just by virtue of being a parent, I think. But even those of us who are far from you in space and don’t have kids will be so happy to see how all these changes and challenges and the wonderment of being a mom will enhance and illuminate your path. We’ll be waiting for when you have time, in your own time. :)

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