I picked up a photo of myself last night at around 8 months.
It goes so fast. It just all goes so fast.
Derek has been sleeping pretty well lately, for him. Which is nice. I still have days when I feel a little tethered, because I have so many hours with him until I get time to myself. Sometimes it is hard to see past that moment.
Someone posted in a community on LJ the other day with a quote that I am going to try to remember when I get nutty and want to be free, more than my time that I have.
“We have a few special years with our children, when they’re the ones that want us around. After that you’re going to be running after them for a bit of attention. It’s so fast Peter. It’s a few years, and it’s over. And you are not being careful. And you are missing it.”
I AM being careful. I just have to remember to keep doing so.
That said, Derek had his first time at the local park and rec daycare without me last week. It was just a half hour, to start. We will go back, maybe tomorrow, not sure. I need to start making it regular, and I have to remember when his gym class is when it starts this summer. And then soon the awesome girl up the street will be out of school and available to hang out with him here during the week. Between the two, and looking for a really local friend to swap with here and there, he has a good start in time without Mama. A few hours a week in total, which is all I want for him at this age, not even 2. But leaving plenty of time for us to play, so I don’t miss it. I don’t know if I could have been so balanced about it when I was younger. I am really glad I had my 20’s free and clear and all about ME and DLJ and the US. If I hadn’t had that, I don’t know if I would be able to do what I feel is the right thing now. There’s something to be said for being a younger Mom, too. Each has checks and balances, I suppose!