Growing boy

He still has trouble staying asleep…but he’s a happy, good boy overall. He is growing so fast. I raised the straps on his carseat to day to the upper level for bigger babies, he’s so tall.

*sniff*

I love him so much. Even at 4 am.

Days go by…

Derek is sleeping. I have been working hard to give him better naps, so that he might become a better night sleeper. Sometimes I feel really overdone with his frequent waking, and ready to try anything to get him to sleep. I don’t want him sleeping through the night (beyond 4-5 hours a stretch) as he is too young for that. His mind is active and learning at night, and I want my boy smart! But it’s hard. Hard to accept that this is what he is, for now. But all the books are like, yeah, 4 hours good… I’d LOVE 4. Heh. I get 2, or 1.5.

But I need to remember that he is who he is, and its GOOD FOR HIM TO wake if he is waking. He has his reasons, and this will pass soon enough. I just get torn with the siren call of things to do, then the voices of reason reminding me he’s not even 5 months old, and that messing with sleep schedules before a year can be not so good. I never want to try cry it out methods, ever. I never want him to learn “oh, I am crying…but Mom is not coming, she won’t be here to help me.”

Never.

Anyway.

He’s a cutie. I am making a casserole for dinner and did the prep work while he is napping. We went to a Mom’s group in Hillsboro today, a long drive but worth it to stay in the loop with these women (they are part of a free new Moms group at the hospital I delivered in, and after 6 months you graduate…but you can keep going to your own playgroups…)

Our street is about to be dug up to put in digital cable or some such fanciness, there are orange, red, and green spray lines all over the place.

I am waiting for Spring. I know I will wait awhile…it’s time to order veggie seeds! I wonder what to grow this year, more strawberries and carrots, tomatoes….I want to start asparagus (it takes 3 years for them to be harvestable), maybe ill just get started on that…

Post Turkey

The sun is low in the sky, due to the time of day and time of year.

DLJ is out back raking leaves, we are just in from a walk around the neighborhood. Some folks have their lights up already, so tonight starts the holiday fun. I am looking forward to a nighttime walk soon with my family so little Derek can see them, even though he won’t get what he is looking at yet. He can see pretty far now, and colors are kicking in, so I think he might be fascinated.

I had a coffee and DLJ got me a giant yellow smiley faced mug full of flowers. “I wanted to get you something to let you know you are doing a great job as Mom. You don’t get reviews or raises or even get paid, so…”

AWWWWWW. *melt*

Derek is snoozing in the stroller after our walk, and when DLJ is done with leaves I will go get some more flour from the store, as I used it up today making banana muffins. It’s chilly out but at night my family is warm and safe in bed, all of us in the same room.

I don’t need much else. Life is good.

DLJ and Luny alone?

Sunday evening DLJ and I went out to dinner. Alone. A couple.

Mom and my Aunt watched the Kidlet at home while we went to the Cheesecake Factory, DLJ’s choice. It was kinda strange. Familiar, but strange. I had a good time.

I used to think when parents went out and then instead of enjoying it kept calling home it was over worry. And maybe for many, that’s the case. I can already tell that for me, it will be just MISSING the little guy. He’s addictive. Sometimes when DLJ has him for the evening and I should be sleeping I come back down to where they are just to look at him.

Yes, when we are apart, it will be just missing his smile, his warm little body, that will do me in.

But we had a fantastic time, held hands in the car and enjoyed our night out. And Mom and Aunt T enjoyed time with him. They go back to Arizona tomorrow. Today is stellar weather so we will go for a walk with a friend and her 1 year old later in the day to enjoy the last bits of warm sunshine we get before fall and winter truly set in.

Going out was really good. We should make a point of being able to do that. What would be neat is to set something up with my friends with kids, one night a month they go out and we watch, and one night vice versa, etc. That way each of us knows our boys are in good, safe hands, taking out the worry factor, and we can otherwise enjoy some adult time out.

Neglect

Sorry. I am around, I should update more.

I’m fine, the little guy is fine, he smiles now. We are awaiting his first laugh. We went to the coast over the weekend and it worked out really well, even with the two hour drive each way.

My Mom is coming into the state for a week with her sister, and will stop by. I know she has been missing the little guy.

Time for a shower, teeth brushing, and sleeeeeeeep. He only wakes me once a night now…but it’s still 45 min to over an hour lost each night.

Dood.

I brushed my teeth today.

This is an accomplishment. I also already folded clothes and answered emails! It’s amazing how hard it is to get things done with a newborn. But I’m working at it. But everyone says to sleep when he does, which is so counter to getting anything done! I know it will get easier, he will start sleeping longer soon…

It’s a very nice day out today, hopefully we will get a walk together in it. He really loves walks in the Moby wrap. I miss DLJ already, he is in Bend overnight, and working really, really hard. I hope he can rest on the weekend, but with our little guy, it’s not the easiest thing to do!

I realize….

I never told you about the birth. Longer later, quick now:

Hopes: natural birth, medication free, intervention free.

Reality: 14-16 hours natural labor, unmedicated.  At 16 hours I can no longer help, I have the shakes and midwife discovers Derek is slightly turned the wrong way. I surrender to the epidural. Fever arrives, I go on antibiotics due to uterine infection.

at 19 hours, pitocin levels rise and Derek has now turned himself 180 the wrong way, his front facing my front. Midwife turns him twice, he turns back. Shakes really bad. At 24 hours, with no dilation progress, or any other sort after 5 hours, emergency c-section.

Gonna talk to him about all this someday. Naughty.